The power of self-confidence

 Self-belief is the foundation of success. This is an iron rule. Nobody ever became unreasonably successful without a strong belief in themselves.

Self-belief can start with a vague but deep sense of being special. This sense sometimes arises simply from being born into privilege or because of encouragement from role models around us, such as parents and relatives. Equally, however, conviction in one's destiny can arise from defiant vulnerability or isolation in childhood, when the self is thrown back on itself and creates an imaginary future to compensate for a barren present.

Researchers have a tough time agreeing on what, exactly, self-confidence is. Some say it is simply believing in yourself, while others go into more detail about your expectations for and evaluations of yourself and your performance.

To be truly self-confident is to exude confidence in your words and actions, in addition to believing in yourself and feeling capable.

Here are activities and exercises you can do to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

Of course, the most important thing you can do to build your self-confidence is to get some success experiences under your belt—no matter how small—but here are some other things you can try as well.

Recognizing negative thoughts

Negative thoughts are so often a drain on our self-confidence, and we may not even realize it. Negative thoughts can be sneaky, so we need to be extra-vigilant in identifying and addressing them.

Practice “listening” to your own thoughts; notice the automatic thoughts that pop into your head and pay attention to the way you talk to yourself. When you notice a negative thought, grab onto it and either write it down or just sit and think about it for a moment.

Don’t spend long thinking about the thought in its current form, though. Instead, spend your time thinking about how it can be rephrased and adapted to become a positive (or at least neutral) thought.

Challenging yourself

The best way to boost your self-confidence is to open yourself up to positive new experiences and allow yourself to succeed.

If you have low self-confidence, you probably don’t like taking risks—whether those risks involve physical activity, going for a new job or promotion, talking to someone you like, or just trying a new activity.

Giving yourself the self-care you need

Self-care is incredibly important for a lot of things, but it can be especially impactful for our self-confidence.

Engage in self-care to show yourself how valuable you are, and you will feel more confident in your abilities and motivated to prove that you are right about yourself.

Remember that self-care is about much more than just getting a massage or allowing yourself to indulge in some extra-tasty food or on a Netflix binge. Make sure to take care of your body, mind, and soul by eating healthy, exercising, giving yourself a break, and engaging in whatever other self-care you need to feel good.

Practice accepting failure

This isn’t an especially fun exercise to practice, but it is a necessary one. We all fail at some point, and it does us absolutely no good to pretend that we don’t—or won’t—ever fail.

To practice accepting failure, engage in some activities that you know you will fail at. I know, it sounds terrible! Why would you do something when you know you will fail? Because practicing failure can be just as important as practicing success.

Take risks and set stretch goals for yourself. Sometimes you will achieve them, and sometimes you won’t. Whether you achieve them or not, make sure to tell yourself the same thing after: “You put a lot of effort into this and I’m proud of you for working hard.”